CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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