you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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