Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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