Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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