worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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