yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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