It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
