Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
