Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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