If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
