I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
