the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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