I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
