I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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