hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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