Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
