I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
