I just pynch a tree in the face
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
