Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
