Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
