You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
