PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Randomize
