I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
