dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
