I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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