i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
