Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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