If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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