Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
