is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
