I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
