East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
