is your mom at the bar?
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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