Where are you?
In a non slutty way
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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