I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
