Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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