just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
