even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
