I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
