So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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