kristin has been a bad kristin
Small penises have feelings too.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
