The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
