Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
and i looked up. we had an audience...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
