That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Randomize
