This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just want nice things and good sex
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
