your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
dude i'm inner monologue high
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
