i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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