so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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