And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
