So drunk, too bad you don't want this
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
