Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
