maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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