You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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