Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I have already put on my inside pants.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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