so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
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