She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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