Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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